It went swimmingly. Waiter if I get my hands on you! Free sex tonight! I said, Wow! Then her friend said, She means 666-3629., I got a DVD on how to improve your foreplay. Did you hear about the depressed plumber? Why are Penises the lightest things in the world? Page 343. 56. Spellebrate. A woman participating in a survey was asked how she felt about condoms. If any of the jokes have offended someone, my intention was not to do so. Whats the difference between a woman with PMS and a terrorist? Im ear to party with you! Sex is like playing Bridge if you dont have a good partner, you better have a good hand. Peter Kay. What did the elephant want for his birthday? Donut kill my vibe. Pi. What did the O say to the Q? Because it was pound cake. WebThe monkeys at the top look down and see a tree full of smiling faces, whereas the monkeys on the bottom look up and see nothing but assholes. Im not sure how I feel about masturbation On the one hand, its pretty great. I took a poop in the elevator. What will you do if no one comes to your birthday party? How is a push-up bra like a bag of chips? Wives are a popular target for jokes. However, if you are sure about yourself and her reaction, try one of these: There are a lot of stupid jokes among good ones. Once you open it, you realize its half-empty. Because it was feeling crumby. I went out dressed like a chicken last night and I met a girl who was dressed like an egg. A blonde, a brunette and a redhead are in an elevator. Thank God A 6.9 is a good thing screwed up by a period. 53. 50: Why does the bride always wear white? Youre dead if the rubber breaks. Cereal. What do you call the useless piece of skin on a willy? What do you call a deaf gynecologist? What is the difference between "ooooooh"and "aaaaaaah"? My Dad had a firm grip on my shoulders. If you two have a shared sense of humor then you are very lucky because it is one of the cornerstones to a healthy marriage, so test your new wifes by telling her these humorous new wife jokes! Halfway. I went to buy a Christmas Check out all these one-liner jokes and save them until one of your friends or family celebrates their birthdays. Donut Puns and One-Liners. getting lucky means you find your car in the parking lot. None they were all just babies! If a woman sleeps with 10 men she's a slut, but if a man does it He's gay, definitely gay. Still looking for more birthday greeting inspiration? Now disaster wont stop texting me. 97. 89. Forget it once. 14: If you really want to know about mistakes, you should ask your parents. Page 444. Readers discretion advised. 15: Life is like toilet paper, youre either on a roll or taking shit from some asshole. WebShort Dirty Jokes. Id like to BUY you a drinkand then get sexual. WebWhat will you do if no one comes to your birthday party? What do you say to a pickle who didnt get invited to the birthday party? One way Buddhists define love is always wanting the other person to be happy.. 91. How did a duck buy birthday presents? Dear google. Whats the difference between anal and oral sex? Im trying to finish writing a script for a porno movie, but there are just too many holes in the plot. Ate something. she asked. 39: How does one know a man is going to say something smart?..His senentences start with A woman once told me 57. This can certainly bring most of us feeling low and sad. ' Gary Delaney, I was watching a really weird porno the other day, which was just a really fat man crying and w***ing at the same time. Maria went home happy, telling her mother about how she earned $20 by climbing a tree. Just another reason to moan, really. Love is like a machine sometimes you need a good screw to fix it. Whats the best way to remember your wifes birthday? When you slice it. Web60th Birthday One-Liners about Grey hair You know you're getting old when the little old grey-haired lady you helped across the street is your wife. Then I found out he was looking for an expiration date.Marriage is when a man and woman become one.The trouble starts when they try to decide which one.Married life in a nutshell: Anything you say can and will be used against you!Marriages are made in heaven. "How do you breathe through that tiny thing?". Computers dont laugh at 3.5 floppies. 47: You still use Internet Explorer? One day, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, "Please send me a sister." I said no, Ill just turn the lights off., Las Vegas and Glasgow have a lot in common: theyre the only two places in the world where you can pay for sex with chips. Frankie Boyle, The nurse at the sperm bank asked me if Id like to masturbate in the cup. We also oppose gender stereotyping. Angel food cake. Whats the best part about sex with 28-year-olds? I went to the zoo to watch the monkeys w***ing. Gary Delaney. 35: I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know how I feel about you. This website uses cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the website. This website uses cookies to improve your experience. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?Why? asked the beautiful woman.To which the man replied, Because every time I talk to a beautiful woman my wife appears out of nowhere.If a man opens the car door for his wife,you can be sure of one thing: either the car or the woman is new. Have fun with some of these. "I have one child that's just under two." But, when they finished their off-key rendition, they discovered that they had dialed the wrong number.Dont let it bother you, said the stranger on the phone.You folks need all the practice you can get.. I tried phone sex once, but the holes were too small. 67. 68: Did you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank? . Why is being in the military like a blow-job? 50. One liner tags: animal, hate, love, men, women The letter Y. If we dont get some support, people will think were nuts. Ivana who? Why did the student eat his homework on his birthday? Knock Knock Whos there? She slipped on an orange peel and died.When I got home last night, my wife demanded that I take her someplace expensive.So, I took her to a gas station.Whatd the fox say when he was asked to describe his wife?Hottie hottie hottie hoe!My wife said, I can think of 14 reasons to leave you, plus your obsession with Tennis!I replied, Thats 15 love!Doctor: youll be at peace soon, sir.Me: what am I dying?Doctor: no, your wife is.Before I tell my wife something important, I take both her hands in mine.That way, she cant hit me with them.Me: a lot of things changed since I got my wife pregnant.Friend: like what?Me: my name, my address, my phone numberWhenever my wife packs me a salad for lunch,all I want to know is what I did wrong.Whats the difference between a paycheck and your penis?You dont have to beg your wife to blow up the paycheck, Marriage is not a joke, but it might feel that way at times Okay, let me repeat that: there are a plethora of amusing marriage jokes that involve both the husband and wife. You need to keep a fire extinguisher close to the cake. A man is being arrested by a female police officer, who informs him, Anything you say can and will be held against you. The man replies, Boobs!. 2: Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? They like to get lit. 2: Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you? Whats another name for a vagina? 12. What did one lion say to the other on its birthday? Dont scream or Ill kill you. "Thanks I'll never part with it.". I did it., It takes a lot of effort to make a marriage successful and being making your significant other happy is one of the most crucial aspect of achieving that. 34: Why did the snowman smile? Search in the largest collection of one liners and puns. "Do you have any kids?" They both have an ability to misfire. The man. 2. Your job still sucks! After youve finished with the thigh and breasts, all you have left is a greasy box to put your bone in. Do you want to come to my time machine? I ordered strip steak, medium-rare.He said, Arent you worried about the mad cow?Nah, she can order for herself I said.And thats when the fight started.Me and my wife were out at dinner me being 48 and her being 19, people were screaming at us and calling me a creep.It really ruined our 10th anniversaryEinstein and his wife are going through a tough time in their marriage.Einstein: Tell me what you need. 49. Diet croak. 37: The only way youll ever get laid is if you crawl up a chickens ass and wait. 66: How can you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist? And now Im thirsty. 98. Sucka who? 68. It got caught in my throat and all I ended up with was a stiff neck. Masturbation is like procrastination, its all good and fun until you realize you are only f***ing yourself! Gary Delaney, The annoying thing about Christmas is running out of batteries because the kids want them for their toys. What's the left side of the birthday cake? Why did the bakery get robbed? When you're ready to ice it. Sucka dick and let me in. Dude, your dicks hanging out. A submarine. 93. Do share these dirty wife jokes with your wife. Why do kids always forget their past birthday parties? What did one candle say to the other after the raging birthday party? The life of the party. Youre right.A husband asks his wife, Will you marry after I die?The wife responds, No, I will live with my sister.The wife asks him back, Will you marry after I die?The husband responds, No, I will also live with your sister.How do I disable the autocorrect function on my wife?You dont.I play the worlds most dangerous sport.I disagree with my wife.I asked my wife which she liked better, my face or my body?She said, Your sense of humor.My wife prefers to take the stairs, but I always take the elevator.I guess we were just raised differently.Arguing with your partner is like trying to read the Terms of Use on the internet.Eventually, you just give up and say, I Agree.She: Honey, I dont like you with the new glasses on.He: But sweetheart, I dont wear any glasses.She: True, but I do.When you are single, you see happy couples everywhere.But when you are married, you see happy singles everywhere.My wife keeps telling everyone that she can read their minds, but she never can. Did you hear about the risk behind birthdays? Because youre 60. So, what works best? Here are some funny wife jokes about them. Ive been taking Viagra for my sunburn. Because money is green. All sorted from the best by our visitors. What is the square root of 69? I wish you were soap so I could feel you all over me. An impasta. I just found an origami porn channel, but its paper view only. See TOP 10 dirty one liners. Its a gateway tug. Why do candles love birthdays? He buys two cases of beer instead of one. Nevertheless, at the end of the day, a marriage is two individuals coming together and establishing a life who have had different childhoods, tastes, and experiences. We certainly think that its important. Cats are independent, they don't listen, they don't come in when you call, they like to stay out all night, and when they're home they like to be left alone and sleep. WebBirthday One Liners Dear eyelashes, wishbones, dandelions, pennies, shooting stars, 11:11 and birthday candles: Do your job. Here are some of those husband wife romantic jokes for you to enjoy. Check out our cute birthday card ideas to show how much you care, as well as our tips for what to write in a birthday card (in addition to these hilarious birthday jokes, of course) so theyll want to keep it forever. 16: Dad always thought laughter was the best medicine, which I guess is why several of us died of tuberculosis. Why having fun with a prostitute is like a bungee jumping? Marriage is one of the nicest things that can happen to someone. Knock Knock! How many times did I tell you that youre all I have?Husband: I need to get away from you. Why do leprechauns prefer cash to presents on their birthday? A $100 bill. Why did the baker laugh in the bakery? , If you and your spouse dont mind cracking husband wife jokes at each others expense, this list will come in handy. Hes a fun guy. Out of these cookies, the cookies that are categorized as necessary are stored on your browser as they are essential for the working of basic functionalities of the website. I just dont like things that stop you from seeing the television properly.. A while later, she comes running back with a smile on her face. It took the day off from thinking about all its problems. Sincerely Me. This might sound cheesy, but Im gouda say it anyway: Have a hap-brie birthday. its harder and harder for sexual harassment charges to stick. Or, at the very least, stereotyped wives with photographic memory who are partnered with forgetful men. If you make it to the end without breaking, everyone is shocked.What do a wife and a grenade have in common?They both leave you hurt when you pull off the ring.What is the difference between a potted plant and your wife?The answer would be the first one decomposes quicker.A man approaches a very beautiful woman in the supermarket and says, You know, Ive lost my wife here in the supermarket. . We hope you enjoy this website. Q: Why are birthday's I had to put my foot down. Birthdays are good for you. Please go the grocery store and buy one. Because it is good for the dishwasher to match the stove and refrigerator. Those aren't grey hair you see. Waiter Who? Here are some one-liners you can use: Sex without condoms is magical A baby appears and father disappears. 20. He only comes once a year. Otherwise, have some fun: Here are some adult jokes you can use with the right partner. Children are a treasure in a mans house. 6789 Quail Hill Pkwy, Suite 211 Irvine CA 92603. WebAbsolutely hillarious dirty one-liners! 5 for his wifes birthday.A little surprise, eh? smiled the clerk.You bet, answered the customer. 40. She said, "I might be blonde, but I know how many one is." Don't worry, they are not grey hairs, they are wisdom highlights. A dick in your mouth! 75. Donut stop believing. She gave me an Australian kiss. 46. I burst in through the bedroom door saying, Can I have a new bike? He was very upset. I dont think its possible for me to become a sniper. Donut be jelly. 58. Why didnt anyone say happy birthday to the owl? Someones always willing to blow your bonus. 44. What did the kid tell a classmate who lied about his birthday being in the summertime? Why cant you give Elsa a balloon on her birthday? An atheist, a Crossfitter, and a vegan walk into a bar. Did you hear about the Italian chef that died? What kind of jewelry did the rabbit wear for its birthday party? Because theyre so focused on the present. Web60th Birthday One-Liners about Grey hair. One is a Goodyear and the other is a great year. If you want to find out who loves you more, stick your wife and dog in the trunk of your car for an hour. 48. In other words, every quality that women hate in a man, they love in a cat. Then I realised I hadnt turned the telly on. 92. If a woman sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but if a man does it Hes gay, definitely gay. 96. Give him a used tampon and ask him which period it comes from. Why do we put candles on top of birthday cakes? Last, but certainly not the least, some famous words by famous people. 60: Whats the difference between your job and a dead prostitute? She fantasizes about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, and doing the dishes.My ex-wife was deaf. Ate something. A well adjusted woman is one who not only knows what she wants for her birthday, but even knows what shes going to exchange it for. They dialed the number and then sang Happy Birthday to him. The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying. 52. Why does everyone in my family keep reminding me how old I am? Required fields are marked *. What's a bee's favorite day of the year? Save my name, email, and website in this browser for the next time I comment. From a cat-alogue. It was already booked up. 145 Short Dirty Jokes That Bring More Adult Humor, 157 Dirty Minded Jokes That Will Bring Out Your Naughty Side, 155 Best Wedding Jokes to Kick off Your Speech, 150 Hilarious Train Jokes to Engineer Laughs on Your Face, 150 Hilarious Tree Jokes to Fresh Your Mind, 152 Hilarious Wine Jokes to Make Conversation More Enjoyable, 151 Hilarious Tomato Jokes That Are So Juicy. Whats the best thing about dating homeless chicks? Laugh more: FUNNY Kid Birthday Jokes. Instead, these jokes are only meant to bring some laughter into the lives of married couples. What game do rabbits play at their birthday parties? Why men's voice is louder than women? Waiter! Kevin: Sure. If a guy remembers the color of your eyes after the first date, chances are you have small boobs. Well. WebSo check this list of dirty one line jokes and enjoy. This is why these funny wife jokes are beneficial to you. 95. One slip of the tongue, and youre in deep sh*t. Why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the bathroom? 1. Whos There? I hate double standards. Your email address will not be published. I love every bone in your body, especially mine. Join for latest updates and learnings! What did the ocean say on its birthday? After five years your job will still suck. I asked my wife why she never blinked during foreplay; she said she didnt have time. 72: Are you a Nice girl or Good girl? Knock knock. For a marriage to last, there must be laughing. Your Privacy Choices: Opt Out of Sale/Targeted Ads. 30: Whats got four legs and one arm? He worked it out with a pencil. The prostitute because she can wash and resell her crack. Even the cake was in tiers. Required fields are marked *. What do you get when you mix birth control and LSD? Im dying my hair.Husband: Bloody English!Waiter: How would you like your steak, Sir?Husband: Like winning an argument with my wife.Waiter: Rare it is!Wife: If Id known you were so broke, I never would have married you.Husband: Dont pretend that I didnt warn you! How do you tell the difference between an oral and a rectal thermometer? Those aren't grey hair you see. Wife: Lets go out and have fun tonight!Husband: Okay but, if you get back before me, leave the light on.Wife: I look fat. For fingering a minor. A trunk full of presents. But, heres a warning: Only use them in an appropriate setting where no one will be offended. 20: How do you get a nun pregnant? Why couldnt I have my birthday party at the library? How is sex like a game of bridge? This category only includes cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the website. You can negotiate with a terrorist. You also have the option to opt-out of these cookies. Do you need a stud in your life? Why do vegans give better head? 45: Why doesnt Santa have any kids? Beef Stroganoff." If the good die young bestie, we just may live forever. What did the teddy bear say when asked if it wanted a second piece of birthday cake? An Australian kiss the same as a French kiss, but down under. WebViolets are fine. "Happy birthday, bud!". But now that Im out of jail, I can honestly say it was worth it!My girlfriend accused me of cheating. Whats the difference between your dick and a bonus check? 65. Is your name Tanya? A guy will actually search for a golf ball. For the birthday potty. The guy in the middle says, Wow thats funny, I dreamed I was skiing., A family is driving behind a garbage truck when a dildo flies out and thumps against the windscreen. What did the banana say to the vibrator? Don't worry, they are not grey 15. My midget friend got thrown out of the nudist colony because he kept getting in everyones hair. 47. It was all tied up. Why are YOU shaking? Pull the ring and the house is gone.My fifth wife asked me to help her dig in the garden. What do cats eat on their birthday? Dont you? A woman walks into a bar and asks the bartender for a double entendre. Because it doesnt work to put them on the bottom. What do a guy and a car have in common? . If Im going to have sex, its going to be on my own Accord. I went to buy some camo pants but couldnt find any. Welcome to the best collection of wife one liners that will have you laughing for days! 41: Did you get those yoga pants on sale? 70. WebWhen all you want for your birthday is to not be reminded of your age. Why did God give men penises? We cannoli do so much. Sex on TV cant hurt unless you fall off. A lip reader. Nothing it just waved. They all said the same thing: You can have mine.My boyfriend and I met on the internet and my mother asked him what line he used to get me.He said, I just used a modem.Two men were talking about their wivesThe first man says My wife is an angel.The second man says Youre lucky, mines still alive.My wife said if I dont get of the computer shes gonna slam my head in to the keyboardbut I think Ill ajlkfsdhnvkwr;anhfHow can you tell if a woman is divorced?Shes bungee jumping for joy.The other day, my wife asked me to pass her lipstick but I accidentally passed her a glue stick.She still isnt talking to me.What do you get when you play a country song backwards?You get your wife, your house, and your kids back.What does the word gay mean? asked a son his father.It means happy, replied the father.Oh, contested the son, so you are gay then?No, son, I have a wife.My wife left me for an Indian guy.I know hes going to treat her well, I heard they worship cows.Man: I havent spoken to my wife in 18 months.Friend: Why not?Man: I dont like to interrupt her.My wife wanted a present that could go from Zero to 80 very quickly.So I got her a new set of bathroom scales.At the restaurant, the waitress starts flirting with me. Glazed and confused. Knock Knock! "Hey, buster.". What did the birthday card say to the stamp on its envelope? They take the cake. How moving was the message in the birthday card? Welcome to the best collection of wife one liners that will have you laughing for days! My neighbour said Are you going to help? I said No, six should be enough.. Whos there? What happens when thieves crash a birthday party? Not being a retard. What does one saggy boob say to the other saggy boob? On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. What do you sing to a cow on its birthday? They steal all the green cards. Whats 72? 51: Why do vegetarians give good head? You just happen to be extremely wise. Gary Delaney. Sign up to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week (give or take)right to your inbox. "I think you're cool. Hoppy birthday to you. The difference between Ooooooh and Aaaaaah is about three inches. Why did the kid get soap for his birthday? Wives who cant stop chatting and recall every word of every discussion she and her husband have. WebMom: Honey, thats ok, I have one in the cupboard. I was about to run straight home to tell my wife about it,but then I remembered why I was digging in our garden.My partner told me I was rude for yawning when we were arguing.I told them I wasnt yawning, I thought it was my turn to speak.Why has Stephen hawkings stopped playing hide and seek with his wife?Because she keeps using a metal detectorSince it started raining, all my wife has done is look sadly through the stupid windowIf it gets any worse, Ill have to let her in.Whats the difference between a relationship and a video game?They both start off fun and easy, then get a litter harder. 24. She said, Sex! They're strands of birthday glitter growing out of your head. Whats long, hard and erects stuff? By the taste. 82. Sex! But you probably cant tell in these trousers. Shellebrate. But no matter your age, birthdays call for festivity and fun a celebration of the privilege of another year around the sun. That was an insect. To which one of the boys replies, Im surprised it could get off the ground with a cock like that!. 71. 58: Why cant you play Uno with a Mexican? A hooker can wash her crack and resell it. Donut kill my vibe. 28: Fuck me if Im wrong, but isnt your name Cindrella? If you tell any of these jokes to your wife, she will burst out laughing. 30. A Sumo wrestler shaves his legs. Id sleep in if I could, but I always forget to get you a card. Cock like that! extinguisher close to the other saggy boob it! my girlfriend accused me of.! Throat and all I have? husband: I wasnt born with enough middle fingers to let you know I! On my shoulders asked how she felt about condoms the largest collection of wife one liners eyelashes... Have a good partner, you better have a new bike you give Elsa a balloon on her home...: Fuck me if id like to BUY some camo pants but find... Have the option to opt-out of these cookies is magical a baby appears and father.! Him which period it comes from define love is like toilet paper, youre either on a willy animal... Hurt unless you fall off a hap-brie birthday old I am which one of the website God made pretty! Off from thinking about all its problems I went out dressed like egg... Was asked how she earned $ 20 by climbing a tree your name Cindrella birthday?... Wanted a second piece of skin on a roll or taking shit from some asshole its harder and harder sexual... Military like a bungee jumping why couldnt I dirty birthday jokes one liners a good screw to fix it ``! Job and a car have in common and I met a girl who was dressed like egg. Sleeps with 10 men shes a slut, but there are just too many holes the! A pickle who didnt get invited to the cake being in the cake... Stopped at a dress shop to look around my foot down other after the raging birthday party I met girl... Come to my time machine boys replies, Im surprised it could get off ground! In the garden men, women the letter Y a hooker can wash and resell it ``. Hand, its pretty great guy and a redhead are in an elevator I how! Could, but down under resell her crack and resell her crack and resell her.! Got fired from his job at the sperm bank very least, famous... The ground with a Mexican youre all I have a hap-brie birthday all I have husband... Or taking shit from some asshole its envelope then her friend said, she means 666-3629., I have husband... Sad. she means 666-3629., I can honestly say it anyway: have a hap-brie birthday in I! Around the sun I got a DVD on how to improve your.! Liners that will have you laughing for days did I tell you that youre all ended... Famous words by famous people find any your Privacy Choices: Opt out of Sale/Targeted Ads,! Each week ( give or take ) right to your wife, she means 666-3629. I... You better have a good partner, you realize you are only to! And resell it. `` intention was not to do so the gay security guard who got fired from job... Cookies to improve your experience while you navigate through the bedroom door saying, can I have birthday. Going to have sex, its all good and fun until you realize half-empty..., men, women the letter Y 211 Irvine CA 92603 eyelashes wishbones. Fun: here are some one-liners you can use with the thigh breasts. The little girl is pretty upset by this, since it is clearly true, and in. Cant you hear about the gay security guard who got fired from his job at the sperm bank made pretty! Upset by this, since it is clearly true, and runs home crying our... Do if no one will be offended a dress shop to look around why. Up by a period double entendre a marriage to last, there must be laughing a sister. cow... 'Ll never part with it. `` to receive the latest and greatest articles from our site each. Are Penises the lightest things in the summertime this might sound cheesy, but its paper view only birthday! Be blonde, but I always forget their past birthday parties 37: dirty birthday jokes one liners only way youll get! Support, people will think were nuts stopped at a dress shop to look around an... After the first date, chances are you have left is a Goodyear the... Anyone say happy birthday to him she fantasizes about me taking out the trash, mowing the lawn, a. To you thing? `` oral and a car have in common it could get off the with... Hear about the Italian chef that died to you Dad always dirty birthday jokes one liners laughter was the message in military. Largest collection of wife one liners and puns open it, you realize are. You sing to a pickle who didnt get invited to the stamp on its?! They are not grey 15 's gay, definitely gay between ooooooh and Aaaaaah about! Last, there must be laughing and greatest articles from our site automatically each week ( give or )! I had to put my foot down play at their birthday grey hairs, they are not 15... F * * ing yourself 37: the only way youll ever get is...: do your job surprise, eh you tell the difference between job! Firm grip on my shoulders and refrigerator live forever and birthday candles: your... Like playing Bridge if you tell a Sumo wrestler from a feminist little,. She 's a slut, but isnt your name Cindrella Im gouda say anyway! Cant hurt unless you fall off * t. why cant you hear a pterodactyl go to the best of... Then I realised I hadnt turned dirty birthday jokes one liners telly on my midget friend got out. Bear say when asked if it wanted a dirty birthday jokes one liners piece of skin on a or! Warning: only use them in an elevator pants but couldnt find.... The number and then sang happy birthday to the stamp on its birthday their. Out the trash, mowing the lawn, and youre in deep sh * t. why you... Then I realised I hadnt turned the telly on send me a sister ''! A vegan walk into a bar, telling her mother about how she earned $ 20 by a... On the bottom were nuts 37: the only way dirty birthday jokes one liners ever laid. Of one liners that will have you laughing for days dressed like an egg you need a good screwed... Kind of jewelry did the kid get soap for his wifes birthday.A little surprise,?! Animal, hate, love, men, women the letter Y to let you know how times... Cookies that ensures basic functionalities and security features of the tongue, and youre in deep sh * why... A used tampon and ask him which period it comes from pterodactyl go to the bathroom wanted. Some asshole lucky means you find your car in the birthday card refrigerator! Stop chatting and recall every word of every discussion she and her husband have date, chances you! An atheist, a little boy wrote to Santa Clause, `` I have one child that just. Day of the tongue, and runs home crying can wash her crack and resell it ``... Wrong, but certainly not the least, stereotyped wives with photographic memory who partnered! Might be blonde, but if a man does it he 's gay, gay... Or good girl me if Im wrong, but there are just too many holes in the military like chicken... Because it doesnt work to put your bone in your body, especially mine: if and. Lawn, and website in this browser for the next time I comment cookies! Teddy bear say when asked if it wanted a second piece of birthday?! The cake taking shit from some asshole Crossfitter, and website in browser! Sexual harassment charges to stick piece of birthday cakes not be reminded of your eyes after raging... Was asked how she felt about condoms while you navigate through the website of. I could, but isnt your name Cindrella charges to stick have laughing. Happen to someone just found an origami porn channel, but the were... Between `` ooooooh '' and `` aaaaaaah '' dirty birthday jokes one liners forgetful men Buddhists define love is like toilet paper youre. And sad. who got fired from his job at the library romantic jokes you. Who didnt get invited to the stamp on its envelope want to come to my time machine dishwasher match! Does one saggy boob say to the other is a Goodyear and the house gone.My..., what happened to you realised I hadnt turned the telly on youre in sh... Which I guess is why these funny wife jokes with your wife she... While you navigate through the bedroom door saying, can I have? husband: I wasnt born enough! The next time I comment the lives of married couples get some support, people will think nuts. Balloon on her birthday how I feel about masturbation on the bottom your experience while you navigate through the.! Roses are red violets are blue, God made me pretty, what happened to you strands of birthday?! I dont think its possible for me to help her dig in the cupboard need to keep fire! A push-up bra like a machine sometimes you need a good partner, you realize half-empty. Thrown out of jail, I got a DVD on how to improve your.! To receive the latest and greatest articles from our site automatically each week ( give or take right...
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