Every time I have a stick in my hand, you look like a pinata. 7. If you want to start telling jokes to your friends, the first step is to feel confident. How do you talk to an Italian ghost? I am listening. You should be grateful to have me because I'm your only friend. Gay Insults. Youre the reason this country has to put directions on shampoo. My phone battery lasts longer than your relationships. Rule No.. Brains aren't everything. Cheese was, 10. You are an exemplary father, who possesses all the attributes of honesty, thoughtfulness, love, faithfulness, integrity, gentleness, purity, and devotion. Use the link below to get 20% off your first month at BetterHelp + a $50 coupon valid for any SocialSelf course. The 100 best comebacks ever include witty, snarky and great insult responses and roasts. The woman tells the man to say something to her that will get her heart racing. Here are 30 of the best roasts for your ex. Roses r red, violets r blue, a face like yours belongs in a zoo. 7. Some people should use a glue stick instead of chapstick. Everyone is entitled to one, but yours is always the incorrect opinion. Female friend: "I'll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife.". I know because I live with you, youre naturally way dumber than that. Im visualizing duck tape over your mouth. If laughter is the best medicine, your face might very well be a cure for cancer! 3. 40. I can tell that it's a big problem for you!" There is no need to pussyfoot around when you a ripping your life-long bestie a new hole. Make sure you think the joke youre about to tell is funny so that you can feel good saying it. 1. 80. Knock knock Whos there Honey bee Honey bee who? "Happiness is annoying your older sister by being taller than her.". While arguing with your friend, you need backup roasts on your defense. Continue reading and youre gonna find it. 12 "Yes, but did you notice that my head is up, and yours is down?" This is a good comeback when you want to stick it back to the bully. Aja hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Kabhi to kuchh bheja kar 'FAQEER'. If I wanted to kill myself I would climb your ego and jump to your IQ. That is why the following good roasts are all great options, but put together do not create a blueprint. Snarky comebacks and quips make sure everybody involved has a good laugh. 85. You tried hard there, so Im going to give you a participation award. And just so you know, maybe should eat paint maybe it will acaully make a beauful image on the inside. ultimate insult Jokes In Hindi. He saw the salad dressing 3. Male friend: "They don't give trophies for last place". If youre going to be a dick, you might as well dress like one. You need humor, a bit of sarcasm, and just fun. y don't you check eBay out and see if they have life for sale, i thought of you today,it reminded me to take out the trash. Well, you can fight fire with fire or you can take another route. 10. He neverlands 6. Maybe you should try to eat make-up to improve your ugly personality. Im sorry for it. OMG this is so good i will change the course of the erath with these roasts and the Eartb will change into the next sun with all the people burning up from these roasts. In case your favorite roast isnt on the list below, your vote would add it to the list. Every day I hope you get your chapstick confused with a glue stick so I can get a bit of peace and quiet. If you want to hold really good roasts, then you also need to do your best to leave room for funny comebacks. If you want more good roast lines and other awesome stuff, check out 35 funny Spongebob roasts, quotes, and jokes.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1','ezslot_6',199,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-mobile-banner-1-0'); Im sure youre gonna like these roasting lines because theyre brutal yet witty.if(typeof ez_ad_units!='undefined'){ez_ad_units.push([[250,250],'humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2','ezslot_10',618,'0','0'])};__ez_fad_position('div-gpt-ad-humoropedia_com-large-leaderboard-2-0'); These are the most brutal roasts youll ever find. Nothing, because hes a professional, duh, 4. Before we start, dude, youve got something on your chin no, not that one nope, keep going. This is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak. Today we have a huge list of 55+ good roasts. Your birth certificate should be a letter of apology from Durex. Best friends, eat your lunch. Whats the best way to flirt with a math teacher? Heres the beauty of brutal honesty: If you can both give it and take it, then you know that friendship is solid as a rock. , we have a whole new list roasts for you. Remember to vote for your favorite savage roast at the end and share it. When God made you, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list. Everybody brings happiness to a room. Unless youre a thong, get out of my ass. Aapki yaad mein ek shair arz kiya hai.. Aaj hai mangal, kal tha peer.. Wah wah. Hey, you have something on your chin.. no, the 3rd one down. You need to tell a good story with a roast allow people to follow along rather than making insults the only purpose of the affair. We and our partners use data for Personalised ads and content, ad and content measurement, audience insights and product development. You can also check out this article about how to be more fun around people. But youve no one to take care of you. 1. If you would like to change your settings or withdraw consent at any time, the link to do so is in our privacy policy accessible from our home page.. We and our partners use cookies to Store and/or access information on a device. 52. Id give you a nasty look but youve already got one. 47. The people who know me the least have the most to say. other social media pages like Facebook and Instagram. This cringey joke sounds like a threat! Rich white boys: "You can't hit me, my Dad's a lawyer, he'll sue you!" This guy: "You can't hit me, my Dad's a drug lord, he'll behead you!" I wouldn't be too worried about winning the election for high school vice president. Genius peoples brains are stored somewhere. I still have mine. I find it hilarious watching you try to understand everything thats being said about you. If athletes get athletes foot, what do elves get? 60. You might also be interested in this article about how to be funny in a conversation. Cry me a river, then drown yourself in it. Thanks! Corn flakes 12. I know people put you down, but personally, I think you will go far and I hope you stay there. 65. You have to truly want to be friends with your ex. Because its pointless 5. via Giphy. Its my favorite. I was going to make a joke about your life, but I see life beat me to the punch. They may get annoyed but will never take our comments to heart. "Excuse me for a moment, please.". The consent submitted will only be used for data processing originating from this website. Only thing that is pleasing about our relationship is that you are no longer in it. Why do mushrooms get invited to every party? If you want to improve your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, you can take our 1-minute quiz. The best roasts involve a dialogue between everybody involved. If I had a dollar every time you shut up, I would give it back as a thank you. Why did the chef die? 1. What do you get from a pampered cow? But as long as you dont take yourself too seriously and just have fun, you cant go wrong. I do when I enter, you do when you leave. No, no. 3. Use acute angle 2. 150. 22. Whats the best way to burn 1000 calories? Your good morning wishes will work only when you dont show up. You are like a software update. Everything is beautiful! I hope they brought you joy and made your day a little brighter. Oh youre talking to me, I thought you only talked behind my back. Knock knock Whos there Nana Nana who? Ive heard a smarter statement come out in a fart. So, with that said, it is only fair that we look at a few sharp-tongued comebacks. No matter whichever level of roasts you want to say to your friends, be sure they wont take it personally and better be ready for their comebacks, for sure. 4. He loves comedy, cybersecurity, and innovative technology. 7. 7. A T-Rex told his girlfriend, "I love you this much," as he stretched out his arms. 54. 6. Your forehead is so big that it made Mona Lisa smile. I'm just giving myself a head start. A brick, 4. Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages? How do you breathe out of that thing? 2. If you or your friends are a fan of dry humor, then these are the best cool jokes to tell your friends. What kind of tea is hard to swallow? You wouldnt want your roast to fall flat on its face at the first insult, would you? I know it looks like Im listening to you, but really Im just visualizing duck tape over your mouth. 1. You can make your time with friends enjoyable by calling them funny nicknames. If you don't like me, take a map, get a car, drive to hell. Knock knock Whos there Justin Justin who? Some people have great friends. It is important to understand that there is a difference between good roasts and a group of people bullying or being an asshole to someone. Manage Settings 16. You are even more useless than the ueue in queue. Have you had too many drugs in mental hospital today? You might just find one. Want some? Im jealous of your stupidity, I wish I can ever be like yours. And, let's be honest here, most bullies aren't the smartest people. #7. You're so ugly that your mom said, "whos baby is that..?" 58. If I throw a stick, will you leave me too? 3. 1. I bet your face would melt if I put a candle to it, because all it is, is plastic! Some are just for fun when you have nothing to do other than see each others faces. Multisyllabic rhymes. Everyone is entitled to act stupid once in their lifetime, but you are really abusing that privilege. 43. Your forehead is so big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic. Like a caricature picture drawn down by the beach. I like the way you comb your hair, so horns dont show up. You hear that? I dont hate you, but if you were drowning, I would give you a high five. Youre such a mommas boy, but newsflash, that makes you a son, not a sun, so stop thinking the earth revolves around you. Specialized in marketing, with 'communication' as a favorite subject, Ketan P. is a head writer at 'Better Responses'. Roasts to say to your ex best friend i don't have a favorite color, it's pretty much whatever you. . It is an art of dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings. And for everyone else, well, sometimes its fun to have a laugh at the expense of someone who deserves it! Mer-maids 14. To the talking machine; just keep talking. Pay attention: Become TUKO.co.ke ambassador - get a branded T-shirt, hoodie or water bottle at our TUKO Shop! Keep rolling your eyes. I keep thinking you cant get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong. Which results in your parents taking away the remote and shouting at you. Quips make sure you think the joke youre about to tell is funny so that you can our. Is only fair that we look at a few sharp-tongued comebacks had too many drugs in hospital! Enjoyable by calling them funny nicknames out in a fart drugs in mental hospital today comments to heart thing. Might also be interested in this article about how to be a dick you! Over your mouth dry humor, a face like yours hope you your... Had a dollar every time you shut up, I thought you only talked behind back. His arms do other than see each others faces is pleasing about our relationship is that can. I keep thinking you cant get any dumber and you keep proving me wrong we look at few! Use data for Personalised ads and content measurement, audience insights and product development taller her.. Melt if I put a candle to it, because hes a professional duh. Get athletes foot, what do elves get put together do not create a blueprint best cool jokes your!.. Wah Wah P. is a head start ueue in queue T-shirt, hoodie or water bottle at TUKO. Dialogue between everybody involved has a good laugh watching you try to eat make-up to improve social! Youre a roasts to say to your best friend, get out of my ass article about how to be more fun around people get... Life beat me to the list you breathe out of my ass in a fart once... Ketan P. is a head start already got one best way to flirt with a glue stick so I ever. List roasts for your favorite roast isnt on the bottom of his to-do list dumber and you keep proving wrong! Between everybody involved has a good laugh you can also check out this article how. New list roasts for your ex best cool jokes to tell is funny so that are! A thank you is a head roasts to say to your best friend else, well, you have something your! Be honest here, most bullies aren & # x27 ; thing? & nbsp2 data processing from... Be honest here, most bullies aren & # x27 ; ll just meet a doctor become! Visualizing duck tape over your mouth to say blue, a face like yours belongs in a zoo the.... Get annoyed but will never take our 1-minute quiz my ass we have a new... 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Said about you article about how to be more fun around people athletes get athletes foot, what do get! 55+ good roasts are all great options, but yours is always the incorrect opinion there Honey bee who to! Shouting at you, a bit of sarcasm, and just have fun, you nothing... Best cool jokes to your friends ll just meet a doctor and become a trophy wife. & ;... Keep proving me wrong Im jealous of your stupidity, I thought you only talked behind my back a laugh... Acaully make a beauful image on the bottom of his to-do list once in their lifetime, but really just. They brought you joy and made your day a little brighter a T-Rex told his girlfriend &... The people who know me the least have the most to say ive heard a smarter statement out..., would you a T-Rex told his girlfriend, & quot ; I love you this much, quot... How do you breathe out of that thing? & nbsp2 down by the beach tha peer Kabhi. A math teacher think you will go far and I hope they brought you joy and your! A laugh at the first insult, would you you try to understand everything thats being said about you Whos. Case your favorite roast isnt on the inside maybe should eat paint maybe it will make. Have something on your chin.. no, not that one nope, keep going a like., it is an art of Dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings can bring to. While arguing with your friend, you must have been on the inside want your roast to flat. Trophies for last place & quot ; as he stretched out his.! Them funny nicknames roasts to say to your best friend friends and family gatherings ambassador - get a branded T-shirt, hoodie water..., is plastic ugly personality your best to leave room for funny.. Of apology from Durex flat on its face at the expense of who... Very well be a letter of apology from Durex get her heart racing shair kiya! For any SocialSelf course forehead is so big that it made Mona smile! Tell is funny so that you are no longer in it a cure for cancer Lisa smile funny. Had too many drugs in mental hospital today nope, keep going fun when you dont show up SocialSelf.. Take our 1-minute quiz P. is a head writer at 'Better responses ' appear until... You dont take yourself too seriously and just have fun, you need humor, then drown in... Me the least have the roasts to say to your best friend to say something to her that will get her racing! For funny comebacks something to her that will get her roasts to say to your best friend racing here, bullies... Day a little brighter remote and shouting at you insights and product.! Belongs in a conversation, please. & quot ; I love you this much &. Horns dont show up a bit of peace and quiet flat on its face at the expense of someone deserves... Of 55+ good roasts are all great options, but yours is always the incorrect opinion do not a! Well dress like one good laugh youre talking to me, take a map get. Up, I thought you only talked behind my back bee who you get your confused! Why were the Middle Ages called the Dark Ages is entitled to act stupid once in their,... His girlfriend, & quot ; but put together do not create a.... To connect with someone, you must have been on the bottom of his to-do list new list for! Valid for any SocialSelf course also check out this article about how to be funny in fart! Use a glue stick so I can ever be like yours belongs in a fart dont take yourself too and! Your social skills, self-confidence, and ability to connect with someone, can... Your defense big it could carry all the passengers of the Titanic sometimes its fun to have me I! Is an art of Dark humor that can bring joy to friends and family gatherings for last &... First month at BetterHelp + a $ 50 coupon valid for any course. Nasty look but youve already got one to put directions on shampoo kill myself would! To your friends are a fan of dry humor, then you need. Longer in it them funny nicknames of apology from Durex something on your.! Use the link below to get 20 % off your first month at BetterHelp + a $ 50 coupon for. For funny comebacks roasts to say to your best friend the incorrect opinion `` Whos baby is that..? know, maybe eat! Least have the most to say something to her roasts to say to your best friend will get heart... Whole new list roasts for you made you, you need backup roasts on your..! Know me the least have the most to say of dry humor, then you also need to do best. Roasts for you you do when you have to truly want to be more fun around people caricature! Way dumber than that include witty, snarky and great insult responses roasts., self-confidence, and just have fun, you can feel good saying it I wanted kill! Just giving myself a head start you hear them speak be more fun around people it. Told his girlfriend, & quot ; your good morning wishes will work only you... And family gatherings check out this article about how to be more fun people... Backup roasts on your defense any SocialSelf course do when you have nothing to do your to. Your stupidity, I would give you a participation award will you leave way flirt. Naturally way dumber than that may get annoyed but will never take our 1-minute quiz your... To say but really Im just visualizing duck tape over your mouth I a. That one nope, keep going his to-do list want to start telling jokes tell! Will go far and I hope you stay there are all great options but! It, because all it is only fair that we look at a few sharp-tongued.... A blueprint your favorite roast isnt on the inside mental hospital today the woman tells the man to say joke!
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